Unlikely Mates Bundle (Unlikely Mates, #1-3) by Charlene Hartnady

☆☆☆

No Spoilers! Definitely colorful language abound! 


Unlikely Mates (The Chosen Series Book 3)


Whoa y'all. That's enough of that.


Listen, there is a time and a place for getting lost in the idea of being the stuffing between a werewolf and vampire sandwich. It was yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning. I struggle with stories such as these, something will happen and I suddenly can't turn off my analytical mind. How critical can I really be here? I'm debating on if I should delve into the crisis that is m/f/m DP mechanics. Is that something I even need to be discussing? I don't know... yet here we are.


Perhaps some things are better glossed over, purposely discarded in the name of fun. Perhaps. See you on the next round, Hartnady. We in this for the long haul, girl.

Stolen by the Alpha Wolf Bundle (The Chosen #2) by Charlene Hartnady

Stolen by the Alpha Wolf (The Chosen Series Book 2)

☆☆

Some Spoilers! Definitely colorful language abound! Trigger warning, sexual assault discussed below! 


I recently found myself lost and longing for memories of my past self, so I dove deep into the mother of all angsty-teenage-nonsense, otherwise known as the Twilight Saga. It left me with a softer understanding of who I once was, and who I had grown to become. It was an interesting retrospection in growth, but I was done, and was in desperate need of a palate cleanser. I find that smut plays an integral roll in a balanced book diet. When used appropriately it will sweep away all unpleasant or otherwise useless emotional memories of the previous read, lower ones standards and bring everything back to a comfortable neutral. It is a highly effective tool of divine distraction.


That being said, y'all I fucking hated this book. This wasn't my first tango with Hartnady, I enjoy her ahem, panache. I thoroughly enjoyed Chosen by the Vampire Kings, and stepped into this with the full expectation of a good time. **This is where I venture into some spoilery territory. If that isn't your thing, its time to part ways.** 

TWO GOT-DAMN-PERCENT into the book I'm flooded with rage, and then panic.

"Her shoulders sagged in humiliation. At least they weren't going to rape her. That was something... Her blouse was shoved roughly to the side. "Not bad, I'm semi hard." If she wasn't wearing a gag, she'd puke for sure. Her stomach churned."

Excuse me, the fuck is this?  She's a vampire, she is bound and gagged, at the mercy of her werewolf abductor. He touched her leg, grabbed her ass, removed her shirt and bra, he assaulted her and alluded to what else he'd like to do.

I nearly quit right then and there. My hands shook, I had to get up and take a lap and walk off my anxiety. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE DIVINE DISTRACTION. NOT A TRIGGER FOR MY #METOO ANXIETY. FUCK. YOU.

The author used this scene to prop up the alpha, Ward, as the 'good guy', as he barged in, beat the shit out of the lower wolf and assured her that she was safe and would be returned home. Ward insisted she couldn't be left alone, they had to remain together at all times. He made it clear the other wolves would murder her if she tried to escape. Mmmkay.




19%: He insisted she come with him to his outdoor shower, he was, of course, aroused, and needed to cool off. LOL. But then he just started jerking off, in front of her, without permission.

WE LEAVING THIS SHIT IN 2017 WITH LOUIS CK'S CAREER, OKAY? 

20%: "I don't think I've ever wanted to be inside someone so badly." He growled nipping at her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Stephany, I don't think that I could stop now, even if you wanted me to."

First of all, that's not how consent works, ever. Consent is all the time, or it's never. There is no "point of no return", either you have permission or do you do not. FUCK YOU.

It was about here that I realized I hated Ward. I hated his wolves. I hated Stephany. I hated them together.

It pretty much devolved like this until it was finally over. Sooooo, why didn't I quit? Excellent question! I don't really know, tbh. I think, once I isolated it was the characters I disliked, it was easy for me to compartmentalize and select the plot from everything else. There is a phenomenally interesting development that occurred in this installment. There is the sex, sure, but there is also a complicated relationship between vampires, humans and others. The dynamics based on a rudimentary and biased religion will crumble, things are in motion I am eager to the see through till the end. I cautiously started the third installment last night and it looks as though this particular theme  was isolated to these characters. Heres to hope?

The Five Books That Made Me Fall In Love With Reading: #3 Twilight Saga

The Twilight Saga Complete Collection

My rating: ☆☆☆☆☆



No Spoilers! Definitely colorful language abound!




Ok. Deep, breaths. I can do this. Now, before you unfriend me for this rating, hang in there till the end, please? I started this series of reviews back in 2014, and I've been putting this one off ever since. Who we once were, is not always how we would like to remember ourselves, and this hard truth is one I often keep to myself. Twilight was truly instrumental in me falling in love with reading. Take a walk with me and let me tell you a story.

It was my 22nd birthday, and my boss always gifted us an usually long lunch break, so I decided to pop into the book store for an iced coffee. I was listening to my iPod, at most only casually aware of all the books around me. I hadn't loved to read in years, and since the last Harry Potter book wasn't due out till the end of the year, I was just biding my time in the warm heat and quiet of B&N. I had picked up a glossy black cover with porcelain white hands holding a perfect red apple. I wondered if this was a new take on Snow White, so I flipped the back over and read the synopsis. 

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” 

I had sat on the ground, only to be pulled from the pages when my phone buzzed. It was my boss, he wondered why I hadn't come back and if everything was ok. How much time had passed? The ice had melted in my coffee and it was time to head back into real life. 

When I got home that evening, I was utterly consumed. I had never read anything like this before, in fact my knowledge of otherness in books was so limited, I knew of no other than Anne Rice, who never had been able to ensnare my attention. Suddenly the possibilities overwhelmed me, this was a genre, I had so much to explore! 

Twilight hit so close to a place in my mind that I had long ago walled off, the memories too vivid and painful to be allowed free reign. However, amongst the pages, he came to life and I had fallen in love with him all over again. My first love was one that had burned so intensely it transformed who I was. My devotion to him was near child-like in its purity. I saw his face, I heard his voice, I felt his skin, I was transported into another time and place, but he was only accessible as Edward. It gutted me, but made me feel alive at the same time. Again, I had never felt anything quite like this before, it was visceral, it had swirled around me like magic. Reading was magic, if you found the right book.

Now, nearly 11 years later to the day, I picked up Twilight and read it again in one sitting. Except this time, I didn't see him, I saw what I had gloriously outgrown. I didn't feel gutted, I feel charmed by my own innocence. I feel a fondness for that time, that place, for that version of myself. Mostly however, I feel a deep gratitude, Twilight opened a door I hadn't even known existed, and I've been joyfully escaping to this wonderful wold of other ever since. This book isn't a 5 star book, but then again, I owe it so much that perhaps it is?


Is there a book that defined your love of reading? I would love to hear your experiences! 

Hidden Legacy #4 Needs to Happen

I got to the end of Wildfire (HL #3), which was exceptional btw, and I felt a slithering tendril of panic creep into my thoughts. What was happening with the epilogue... was this some sort of thinly veiled closure? I couldn't breathe. I reassured myself that Ilona Andrews would never do this to me (because when you've read and fallen madly in love with every single thing they have written, it feels personal) and I went about gif hunting for my review.

I struggled for the rest of the day trying to decide what I should read next. Nothing on my TBR shelf seemed all that appealing, none of it was what I wanted. So, like the IA junkie I am, I scoured their blog for hints on the next installment...only to find that this was a trilogy. As in, only three books? Could this be correct? No, oh god no.

Now I sit here obsessively contemplating all the reasons why there is no way in fuckery this can be a trilogy. I do not accept.

• The story line is marvelous.
• These characters are stunningly developed.
• The world. Oh fuck this world. It's wondrous. 
• The magic. The Houses. The drama. Superb! 

This cannot be the end. I read an interview on Heroes and Heartbreakers where they said this:

We’d like to, but Wildfire is the last book we are contracted for. It would largely depend on Avon and our editor Erika Tsang. If they chose not to continue with the series, we will probably self-publish more stories in the future.

So, from one Erica to another, get it together, and sign them up for another three books. This series is easily one of their best.  I need more. We the fans need more. Don't make me start a hashtag and petition on change.org.

Wildfire (Hidden Legacy, #3) by Ilona Andrews

Wildfire: A Hidden Legacy Novel


My rating: ☆☆☆☆☆



No Spoilers! Definitely colorful language abound!

 I have read a lot of books, a lot of terrible-no good-waste-of-my-got-damn-time books. This soothes the burn of a thousand let downs.

I'm speechless. I really thought I understood how good IA is, like they couldn't just sneak up on me, I expect wonderful from them. BUT THIS IS MORE THAN THAT. THIS IS FUCKING GREAT. If you want to be punched in the gut with sheer awe, this is the series for you.

ALSO

THE LAST LINE

ON THE LAST PAGE

Damn IA, damn it, you are so good.

White Hot (Hidden Legacy #2) by Ilona Andrews

White Hot: Hidden Legacy 2


My rating: ☆☆☆☆☆



No Spoilers! Definitely colorful language abound!

     This is easily one of the best Urban Fantasy series out there that does not include vampires, and that is saying something. I am completely and utterly wound up in this fantastic and fascinating new universe and I never want to leave. In all honesty though, that normally happens to me with every IA book I read. I am an escapist reader, and IA is one of the best escapist writers and if you aren't reading their books, fix it.





I am careful never to speak much on the plot of any first installment, simply because, that's not really what gets most of us to pick up a book. It's the joy one expresses that really gives us hope that we too will fall in love.

Typically, I don't want to be a character, I may want to befriend them, or simply be a creep stalker (Kate Daniels, cough) forever but I don't really identify with many lead characters. It's always that awkward sub character with ambiguous morals that I identify with most. Nevada however, I want to be. Reading this series is like slipping into a dream land, one where all things are possible, and this just happens to suit me perfectly.

Rogan is...

Speaking of which, I've already started the third so I got places to be. READ THIS.

Empire of Storms (Throne of Glass, #5) by Sarah J. Maas

Empire of Storms (Throne Of Glass Series Book 5)

My rating: ☆☆☆☆☆


No Spoilers! Definitely colorful language abound!

45.0% "I am blissfully lost and in lust with this series. All that it has built so far...sigh. I haven't paused to update or review, the reading is just too good."

- Me



Oh man. You guys. I got totally lost in this series. I didn't even stop to review Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, or Queen of Shadows. I just didn't have a reason to pause, or much to say other than the following:

And then a lot of this, at the end.

As far as the next installment, I think I may just not. Honestly, I fucking hate Chaol. I also hate the spelling of his name. And his attitude. And how he just sucks the damn life out of everyone all the time, insufferably guilty for never knowing up from down or left from right. GET IT TOGETHER. WHY DO YOU EVEN GET YOUR OWN BOOK. BOOHISS ON YOU.


Over all this series is great, sure there are lots of things I could pick apart and rag on if I had my reviewer persona on, but frankly, screw that stuck up bitch. This was good fun, plain and simple. Let Maas take you away from reality for awhile, get lost in this truly gorgeous world she's created.