Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Dark World (Dark World, #1) by Cara Lynn Shultz

The Dark World (Dark World, #1)The Dark World by Cara Lynn Shultz

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound! I received this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I'mma just put on my rose colored glasses real quick...

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Ahhhh, much better.

I feel 17 again in the best way possible, and I'd like to hold onto that feeling just a little bit longer. Every now and again a book comes along that transports you back in time, to a place in your life where things were simpler, your first love was all consuming, and your parents just didn't understand. The Dark World is one of those lovely YA books that bucks the worst cliche's, embraces the best ones and executes them perfectly.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Magic Strikes (Kate Daniels, #3) by Ilona Andrews

Magic Strikes (Kate Daniels, #3)Magic Strikes by Ilona Andrews

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

Magic Bites Review
Magic Burns Review

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I came into this read prepared, I took notes of my favorite quotes, I jotted ideas and funny quips, I was going to continue to review this series with a coherent and tangible thread of consciousness. I was, I was, I was, blah blah blah, am I right? I'm like the last kid arriving at the cool table here, I don't need to talk about the plot there are a 1000+ reviews doing exactly that above me. It's cool, that's not really my style anyway. I like to talk about my feels, get them out of my head and in text so I can continue on my reading journey. The truth is I'm feeling giddy, anxious and a little aggravated as my kindle is sitting next to my lap top, with Magic Bleeds screaming at me to forget this review nonsense and keep reading. If I abandon my plight now, I will never return and it will forever be yet another one of those things I said I would do, and then didn't finish.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom by W.W. Pecker

Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom (Psycho Proctologists #1)Psycho Proctologists and the Flaming Buttholes of Doom by W.W. Pecker

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

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Well… what the actual fuck did I just read? I really have no idea how to review this book, as it is my first Bizzaro read, I'm not sure how it holds up in it's own genre. As a new-comer to this fascinating world of print I have to say, it was great! When this book showed up in my news feed, I of course had to at least look at the synopsis, only to find "50 shades blacker than your asshole" and I bought it without hesitating. You make me cackle in the first line of your blurb, SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Dangerous Girls by Abigail Haas

Dangerous GirlsDangerous Girls by Abigail Haas

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

Buddy Read with Kat!

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Dear Publisher and any peoples responsible for this cover art:

You have done a great disservice to this book, this cover is fucking atrocious on all counts. There is not an singular aspect about it that is acceptable but somehow together it's a clusterfuck of bad. This book is so much better than this cover, do something about it.

World After (Penryn & the End of Days, #2) by Susan Ee

World After (Penryn & the End of Days, #2)World After by Susan Ee

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

Angelfall Review

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I am Lestat. The first 72% of this book is the grapes.

:: The blinking cursor is mocking me ::

( ( I scowl back at it ) )

:: Blink-Blink-Blink-Blink ::

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Iced (Dani O'Malley, #1; Fever, #6)

Iced (Dani O'Malley, #1; Fever, #6)Iced by Karen Marie Moning

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

So I wrote this review, and accidentally clicked out of the review box and deleted everything. I've been having a meltdown but I think I can now try to pick up the pieces.

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4 stars!

I've been tinkering around on GR for sometime now, written a few reviews and I've recently discovered something about myself. I think my rating system is largely based on the excitement and enthusiasm of which I read a book and mostly ignores the more systematic rating points such as plot development, writing skill, character growth, etc. I do key in on some of those points, but mostly when they support my already existing feelings and thoughts. In short, I do what I want.

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Friday, April 18, 2014

Ashes to Ashes (Experiment in Terror #8) by Karina Halle

Ashes to Ashes (Experiment in Terror #8)Ashes to Ashes by Karina Halle

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Come Alive Review
☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

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Halle, it's time you got some honest feedback on this drivel everyone is 5 staring to death. I've gotten past the rage we experienced in my last review, in case anyone was unsure what exactly was happening there, that was me having a rage tantrum. It happens in adulthood, every now and again. As I said, I'm past that now and I've begun to look over your writing with the eye of a scorned reader. You know what I came up with? It's not fucking good.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Come Alive (Experiment in Terror, #7) by Karina Halle

Spoilers and colorful language abound!

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I have been betrayed. I dedicated the time to takes to read 7 books and 4 shorts to this series. Reluctantly offering up my trust to the author, trust that no matter what happens there would always be a life line to anchor me to the characters when things became too chaotic. Well you, madam are a fucking a weaver of lies. There is a clear distinction between when the author conjures up some horseshittery opposed to being true to their characters, their growth and their story. This, I'm sad to say is the former. The proverbial line into absolutely un-fucking-acceptable land has been crossed. Most contrived, fuckmented, trite pile of shit I've had the displeasure of reading.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Into the Hollow (Experiment in Terror, #6) by Karina Halle

Into the Hollow (Experiment in Terror, #6)Into the Hollow by Karina Halle

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆

Spoilers marked and colorful language abound!

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Heh, hey Twatwaffle!

OK so my track record of abysmal reviews for this series is likely to continue, so let's not get our hopes up, mmkay? I think this is the first time that I actually have some thoughts, maybe. Don't fail me now brain, I'm typing and we agreed that we would actually put some of this shit down in text before bounding off into the next book. This book was notably different than any of the others, and thank fucking goodness because shit was getting old. Halle starts us off right where we left off in On Demon Wings and it's left Perry in a pretty contrived tricky predicament and for the first time she is finally pushed into making some real changes. I mean, girl you are 23 years old, it's about damn time. The way it all went down was that of an angry teenager but alas it was at least a step into becoming an adult. Perry stumbles her way back to Seattle, with Dex and taking on their show once more.

On Demon Wings (Experiment in Terror, #5) by Karina Halle

On Demon Wings (Experiment in Terror, #5)On Demon Wings by Karina Halle

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

Whoa. This book is scary as hell, by far the creepiest of the series! It also happens to be my favorite, so many things I find discouraging about these characters has turned around. Redemption and hope anew, my review skills for this series remain lackluster. I don't know what it is, but I just turn into a gif happy idiot. I finished this somewhere around 3 am, and immediately started the next one, because reasons.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Lying Season (Experiment in Terror, #4) by Karina Halle

Lying Season (Experiment in Terror, #4)Lying Season by Karina Halle

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

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I cannot articulate my thoughts on this series at all. I keep taking notes and then it comes to review time and I'm just... I'm just... ANNOYED. I'm really sorry but this is all I got.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Dead Sky Morning (Experiment in Terror, #3) by Karina Halle

Dead Sky Morning (Experiment in Terror, #3)Dead Sky Morning by Karina Halle

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆

Spoilers marked and colorful language abound!

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Well here we are, the end of the dreaded third book. I am this unsuspecting reader. This book is the inappropriate boner. I'm conflicted on my feels. I'm a little disturbed that I think I like it as much as I do. I also fucking hate it. I want to rage quit, but I don't think I can .

This entire book was fucking ridiculous. I don't even know where to start.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Benson (Experiment in Terror, #2.5) by Karina Halle

The Benson (Experiment in Terror, #2.5)The Benson by Karina Halle

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!



Red Fox (Experiment in Terror, #2) by Karina Halle

Red Fox (Experiment in Terror, #2)Red Fox by Karina Halle

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Buddy read with my babes Angela

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
3.5 stars but rounding up because you don't own me.

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

When I get wind of an already established series that I should be reading, I systematically avoid every single thing posted about it. I'm so thorough about this that I often have little to no idea on what it's even about. Halfway through Darkhouse it was brought to my attention that there is already 8 books published, with a 9th on the way and smattering of novellas. As a commitment-phobe this immediately made me anxious, I like to finish what I start but I didn't know if I was in the head space to take on the series as a whole. I didn't love Darkhouse, but that's true to form as I typically don't like most first installments in a long running series, I am pretty efficient at keeping an open mind till the dreaded third book, or as I like to call it, "shit or get off the pot" installment. It's when you really know if the author has what it takes to keep you emotionally invested, halfway through my journey, I can confidentially say:

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Magic Burns (Kate Daniels, #2) by Ilona Andrews

Magic Burns (Kate Daniels, #2)Magic Burns by Ilona Andrews

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers! Definitely colorful language abound!

Magic Bites Review

I think the first thing I would like to address here is directly to Kate.

My dear Kate, how I adore you on so many levels it's almost unnerving how much I like you. I may or may not have a girl crush on your badassery, however we need to clear somethings up. First of all I'm getting real tired of your obsession that you should be able to control everything at all times. Then subsequently the way you tear yourself down for not being baddass enough/quick enough/clairvoyant enough/etc. I am not one to hold hands in relationships waxing your delicate ego to a perfect shine, nope that's not me. You want to tear yourself down? Sure OK, I'm going to go over here now and ignore your childish antics, let me know when you are ready to be realistic and empowered. Second and perhaps less more importantly if you don't ride Curran like it's your last day on earth and his scepter is the key to your salvation, I'm going to rage quit.

Monday, April 7, 2014

The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #12) by J.R. Ward

The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #12)The King by J.R. Ward

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

☆ ☆

No spoilers and and definitely colorful language abound!

 Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  


The King is upon us, and as a loyal, albeit disgruntled fan, I proceeded with caution. Despite the arduous and at times hysterical journey, I have triumphed.

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It was exactly 3% that I realized the error of my ways. I like many of you awaited the publication of what I hoped to be Wards return to her former glory, reconnecting with the characters who started it all. With an omnipresent sense of dread I started The King, allowing my buoyant optimism to overshadow the fact that the last two books were a disastrous blunder. It was then, I read the following:

He was the last purebred vampire left on the planet - and when it came to her and sex, he was fully capable of going wrecking-ball to get at her. And not in the stupid-ass Miley Cyrus poser-sex way - and provided Beth was willing, of course.

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If this tickles your fancy, I encourage you to read through my status updates. Quotes of this caliber are in abundance.

This book, and I'm being generous even calling it that, is a far cry from what we all know her to be capable of. The sad part is, as a long standing BDB fan it truly is sad for me, that under all the bullshit is an actual story, one I know, love and miss dearly. This shouldn't be called The King, it should be called The Death Rattle of a Dying Series.

  Ingredients for The Death Rattle   

4 parts Miley Cyrus references ( added points with the mention of "twerking")
2 dashes of the word "defo" ( added points with the use of "abso" and "jel", use accordingly)
9 mentions of the iPhone ( added points with the mention of Apple, Siri, or the opposer Blackberry)
1 references to Facebook relationship updates (read: It's complicated)
1 nod to Nike's Just Do It
117 uses of the word "sex"
2435 scenes featuring characters no one gives a fuck about
1 epic hose down of jizz
17 excerpts from fanfiction to save time
1 adult temper tantrum with the required use of tranquilizers
1 scene of the "good ole days" just to keep the reader hanging on, use sparingly, we don't want them getting any ideas here.


Take all your social references and sift together to remove any lumps.
Measure "sex" and pour in slowly, while mixing by hand.
Add "characters no one gives a fuck about" and "excerpts from fanfiction" fully incorporate.
Beat "epic hose down of jizz" until you have white fluffy peaks, fold into batter gently.
Grease your 9x10 pan with the softened adult tantrum.
Bake for 13 months at a low 250.
Let cool and garnish with 1 scene featuring past favorite characters

Plate and serve to your editor.

Suggestion: If you find that all those dated and unnecessary social references are bogging down the story flow, plow forward. You definitely need those, they are not jarring at all.

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So there we have it. Yet another disappointing and bizarre installment of the BDB. I will never do this to myself again.

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Like a true dementia patient, I will read the next one. I will wait for it's publication. I will speculate on who will appear and what will happen. Perhaps a bit on my favorite brothers? I will get excited at the prospect of more time with Rehv or V. I will read every book of this series until she puts it to rest.

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I know, I know, but it's because in those brief moments with some of my old favorites, I remembered so clearly how much I love these books, this world, and these characters. I've spent so much time in it that it all plays so clearly in my mind. The compound, their faces, their voices, the cheesy sex scenes, I love it all, and above all I am an optimist or some shit.

And so it begins again.

View all my reviews

Magic Bites (Kate Daniels, #1) by Ilona Andrews

Magic Bites (Kate Daniels, #1)Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

 Curran. Want. Curran. Want. Curran. Want. Curran. Want.   

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I had a really difficult time settling into this new world as I.A. wrote on a need to know basis. Frankly, need to know basis style writing typically annoys the shit out of me. Why are you making up words and not telling me what they mean? How am I supposed to understand the world you have created if you are not explaining it to me? For instance the language, how the world is the way it is, the people, the creatures, the magic is all left largely unexplained and you have to peel back each piece of information as the plot moves forward. It isn't done in a manner that makes you want to stop reading, it just is a slow start. I like to start reading a book and have it feel like my favorite pair of jeans, I don't always have the energy to break in a new pair, however Magic Bites had just the thing to make me keep going. Curran the beast lord!

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I had an actual reaction when he was on the pages, I sat up, read fast, and couldn't wait to see what he was going to do. I'm not entirely sure why I was so fascinated with a character I didn't know a whole lot about, but I was and still am. Perhaps its because I am a Belle, I have a theory that nearly all women of my generation are secretly a Disney princess. There is one in each of us that represents our inner girl, the one we try desperately to snuff out because she is naive and annoying. Big scary powerful dangerous man beast? Check. Big scary fortress? Check. Servants that scurry around him? Check. Ridiculous ego? Check. Looking for something more? Check. Like I said, my inner Belle sat up and paid attention. I bet he has a big library in the keep, I BET HE DOES.

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Kate Daniels is a badass MC, no other way to put it. Deadly, sarcastic, driven, while still able to self evaluate and know her limits. I enjoyed her inner voice, it was comfortable and easy to assimilate to. Except the for the Boones Farm, what the hell is that about? The plot itself seemed almost irrelevant to me, it's purpose to only facilitate the introductions and ground rules of the characters and world they live in. We got to see a little bit of everyones hand and I have a feeling this will be one hell of a series. I thought several times throughout the book that I.A. must know how the series ends before it was even written. As though they needed us to see who these people are and some of their motives and then wrote the plot around that. I'm actually 100% on board with that kind of writing, that means lots of books and an emotional tornado, I'm ready and on to the second book!

View all my reviews

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Chasing Magic (Downside Ghosts, #5) by Stacia Kane

Chasing Magic (Downside Ghosts, #5)Chasing Magic by Stacia Kane

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

3.7 Stars. Yeah. I do what I want.

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

Dear Chess,

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It's time for you to take responsibility for yourself; your drug addiction, your level of self worth and your overall place in the world. The truth is this audience would not have made it to book five of your bullshit if there was not a deep understanding for who you are, but the time has come my friend because we can take no more. Every successful adult realizes one day that despite their childhood, ultimately they are responsible for where they are in life. Yes, you had a savage and brutal up bringing. Yes, it's traumatic. Yes, it gives you leeway to be a total shit of a human being for awhile, just until you realize that you are being a shit. The minute the glimmer of realization hits is when you are going to be held accountable for your actions. You had yours. We read it.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Darkhouse (Experiment in Terror, #1) by Karina Halle

Darkhouse (Experiment in Terror, #1)Darkhouse by Karina Halle

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers and colorful language abound!

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I feel mostly "meh" about the whole story but am slightly more inclined to give it a higher rating on the sole basis that it actually really scared the crap out of me.

First and foremost I really like Perry, I think. I like her voice and her sense of humor but my spidey senses for "girl hates herself and you are going to hate her for it" are tingling. Truthfully speaking I think that she has more of a justification for not really having a better sense of herself at the age of 22. That all being said I just connect with her and I hope I'm wrong. (view spoiler)

I fucking dislike Dex. I think he's charming and interesting but an asshole. I've been warned that this opinion will change.

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Challenge accepted.

Other than that I really don't have much to say at this point so I'll just bullet point the shit out of this review:

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- Curious
- Aggravated
- Creeped out by clown lady
- Too many questions, not enough answers
- I really don't like Dex, not even a little.
- Why is her uncle so weird
- Her parents need to get a grip
- Why doesn't she remember all this stuff from her childhood
- Annnnnnd that's about it. This is all I can muster. I am however anxious to get started on the next installment so I gots to go.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Sacrificial Magic (Downside Ghosts, #4) by Stacia Kane

Sacrificial Magic (Downside Ghosts, #4)Sacrificial Magic by Stacia Kane

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

No spoilers! Definitely colorful language abound!

I'm torn between 4 to 5 stars. I can't tell if I'm annoyed with the author or the character... AND IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT I CAN JUST BLOW OFF. IT'S ONE OR THE OTHER, DAMMIT. I'm going to try and talk it out.

OK, I'm going with 4 stars.

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